Adoption Update - Time is Torture

So we thought we'd be in "child search" in June... NOPE!

We are currently in week 15 of our wait for our child abuse clearance from Texas which was supposed to take 4-8 weeks. This one sheet of paper has had our adoption on hold for more than three months. It is frustrating to say the least.

Time is starting to be torturous. I have been trying to distract myself and stay busy but there is a nagging worry in the back of my mind. Where is she? What has she been experiencing these past months? God please let her be in a loving foster home. We pray for her at breakfast as a family every day. Ethan asks a few times a week if we can finally go get her. The thoughts are endless and continuously lead on to more. It is a really strange feeling, because we feel like someone is missing. It's not just an anticipation. It almost feels like someone was here and is gone now. Hard to describe.

Up side: we are pretty much done. Once this stupid paper gets back from it's extended vacation to Texas, our social worker will come to our house and approve it and write our home study. She will then send it to get certified which will take a couple of weeks. If the clearance came back today, we could be in "child search" in a few weeks.

What is "child search"? This is the part of the process where you are completely cleared as an adoptive family to be matched with a child. Once we are in this stage, we can go to our agency and look at the "child availables" which are profiles of adoptable children. We can "submit" on any children we want to be considered for. However, most likely we will receive a call from our social worker about a child that we've never seen in the child availables. If we want to be considered for any child, our social worker submits our info to that child's social worker. That social worker responds to ours and lets her know if she thinks we are a good match. If we are, we get to meet the child and make a final decision. If not, we keep looking. The tricky thing is that every child's social worker receives multiple interested families. So we have to appear as the best match to be picked.

We have been praying all along that we'd have her by Christmas. That is looking more and more impossible. The chances of getting placed within the first couple of months of child search are not in our favor. But it does happen. I'm trying to let that hope go. Putting baby shower invitations together for a friend yesterday almost wiped me!

So, here we sit, waiting impatiently, annoying our agency and trying not to look at the calendar. Asking for peace and faith and trust and hope.

Can't wait to have her in my arms!